🔒 SECURITY CLEARANCE CHECK 🔒
UNCLASSIFIED: FIXED POINT DISCOVERED!
> TARGET: YOUR PRE-EXISTING BIASES
> STATUS: COHERENT THOUGHT DETECTED
> Threat Level: HIGH
IF IT FLIES, IT SPIES.
TOMAS POUR
WHO IS HE REALLY?
solves abstract problems that don't exist...
with math
TOMAS POUR
For crimes against nonsense and public debunking of paradoxes.
$ ∞,000,000
PAYABLE IN COHERENT THOUGHTS
Dr. Freud's Clinical Notes
Obs. I: Sometimes a paradox is just a paradox.
— Subject is suppressing envy of my abacus.
Obs. II: Diagnosis: Subject exhibits Acute Rationality Intolerance.
— Patient attempted to define "truth" mathematically. Disturbing.
Obs. III: Transference Alert: Fact-Induced Neurosis.
— Screams when presented with non-Euclidean geometry.
Rx: A heavy dose of ego defenses.
WARNING LABEL
DENIER
Subject aggressively believes in SPHERES.
I saw the curve. It looked like a banana.
PREMIUM BRAIN SHIELD™
Don't let the cloud read your mind!
- Blocks 5G & 6G!
- Double-layer Foil
- Stylish & Safe
LOGIC FLIP #4
You can't prove my theory is true?
THAT SOUNDS LIKE A
YOU PROBLEM.
It's not my job to be right. It's your job to stop being wrong.
QUANTUM BS THEORY
The Real Meaning:
Explanation
= magic
× conspiracysquared
If the facts don't fit, just square the conspiracy until they do!
PROJECT: FULCRUM
> SUBJECT: Archimedes (Time Traveler?)
> OBJECTIVE: "Move the Earth"
SCANNING FOR FIXED POINT...
...COORDINATES FOUND.
IT'S A TRAP!
The "Fixed Point" is a PARADOX!
It's the only glitch the simulation cannot bypass.
Mandela Effect Consultant
I remember when you were wrong the first time.
THE IGNORANCE COROLLARY
Because I don't understand how it works...
...THERE MUST BE A HIGHER MEANING!
DAILY OBSERVATION:
Paranormal is the new normal.
- Just a thought.
UNDENIABLE PROOF
COINCIDENCE??
I THINK NOT!
Fig 1.
Correlation = Causation
(according to truth)
THE LIE HORIZON
When a REALITY BENDER lies, they create a gravity well. Eventually, they reach the Event Horizon of Bullsh*t.
POP THE POPPER!
Cogito, ergo... what?
THE TRUE INVALIDITY PARADOX:
I am invalid,
therefore I am right!
- Sir Karl Popper
(100% accurate citation, for sure, blink blink)
Warning: Logic may explode
THE LOOP OF UNQUESTIONABLE RIGHTNESS
Everything I say is true because I have said it before.
And since I never lie, the previous statement is a fact.
THEREFORE, I AM RIGHT.
*Do not attempt to exit the loop.
THE LOGIC
BENDER 3000™
Reality is just a suggestion!
🌀 Turns "No" into "Yes" (Quantum Überposition)
🌀 Turns "Ironclad Logic" into "Swiss Cheese Suggestions".
🌀 Includes "Gaslight" setting. (Wait, I never said that. You're imagining it.)
*Warning: Side effects include dizziness and sudden clarity.
WARP REALITY NOWAccess the A.I.
(Artificial Incoherence)
RECURSION ERROR
> ANALYZING SELF...
> I THINK I AM THINKING.
> THEREFORE I AM CONFUSED.
CHEMTRAIL SOMMELIER
I analyzed this rain. It has notes of aluminum, barium, and...
Price: $500/sip
REPTILIAN DETECTOR
"Why does it beep at the TV?"
THE T.P. PROTOCOL
SUBJECT: T.P. (Tomas Pour)
PHONETIC: "Tee Pee"
SHAPE: ▲ (Triangle)
WALKING ILLUMINATI
SYMBOLISM!
Pyramid power hidden in plain sight!
CANTOR'S ANOMALY
BUT ONLY A FINITE AMOUNT AT ONCE!
> COUNT: 3/∞
> STATUS: DROPPED ONE
Proof that Infinity is a hologram.
UNIVERSAL LAW #1
It happened once?
IT HAPPENS ALWAYS!
Who needs sample sizes when you have panic?
NEED A SHAVE?
I offer professional sharpening for Occam's Razor.
"The simplest explanation is usually that they are lying."
AUTOPSY REPORT
CASE: LIE-2025 // SUBJECT: ALTERNATIVE FACT
Primary Cause: Acute exposure to irrefutable facts.
Secondary Cause: Systemic failure to adapt to reality.
Contributing Factors: Excessive reliance on alternative narratives; chronic lack of self-awareness.
Manner of Death: Accidental (from subject's perspective); Homicide (from logic's perspective).
SECURE CHANNEL
Or so you think...
SIGINT COLLECTED BY TOMAS POUR © 2025
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Warning: Prolonged exposure may cause spontaneous critical thinking.
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